A Tale of Two Lamps

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The heroine of our story was ecstatic by the acquisition of two marvelous gourd lamps for a song. With a little paint, they would give her dining room a much needed lift. She quickly armed herself with spray primer and cobalt blue spray paint and set off to create a thing of beauty. She had no way of knowing that the simple task at hand would prove to be her downfall.

The sun was shining, there was nary a breeze on the lovely spring day when Ms. Strictly Simple Style ventured to her garage for what she thought would be a simple, yet effective DIY project. The discounted lamps that she had purchased would be sprayed with primer and finished with a glossy cobalt blue. In her mind's eye, they would be the finishing touch that her dining room was so desperately calling for.

The priming went off without a hint of trouble. All was well with the world. The final spray of cobalt blue was just 24 hours away.




She woke up bright and early. Another beautiful spring day with ideal conditions for spray painting. After a hearty shaking of the spray paint, the first few strokes of cobalt blue were applied. It was perfection, just the color and sheen she'd been hoping for, but her glee was short-lived. As the glorious finish began to bubble before her very eyes and produce a reptilian texture.





It made no sense. She had scrupulously followed directions. The recommended 24 hour period between priming and painting had been adhered to, yet the lamps were destroyed.




The only thing that would save her lighting was a miracle in the form of the employees at Sherwin-Williams. Snap shots of the heinous finish were taken prior to her departure to seek the sage advice of the trusted S-W crew.

"I've never seen anything like this", said a pleasant woman who appeared to be around the age of Ms. SSS's own mother. She counselled the use of a fine sandpaper block followed by a tack cloth to remove the residue. "Sand only in the areas where the bubbling occured", she advised. "But be sure to feather out the edges to avoid an obvious transition when you reapply the paint" With "good lucks" from the whole S-W gang, she set off on her mission to repair her failed project.

She waited until mid-morning of the following day to start the task. The sanding was brutal and time consuming. It was past noon when she resorted to the use of a hand sander to remove the last remnants of the offensive, bubbled finish. With the tack cloth in hand, she wiped down the surface and readied herself for the final step, reapplying the spray paint.



Sweat droplets formed on her forehead. Her heart was beating rapidly in anticipation of the possibility that her efforts had been for nothing. With spray paint in hand, she began shaking the can to mix the paint properly before spraying. The first few strokes were short, staccato sprays that felt a bit tentative. She looked away for a second for fear that the lizard-like finish would reappear. Much to her surprise and joy, she found that the sanding seemed to have worked.

On closer examination, there was a slight indication that repairs had been made to the finish. Her dreams and hopes faded. In the end she was forced to position the lamps on her dining room buffet in such a way that the damage was not so visible. To distract the eye of dinner guests, she embellished the lampshades with a ribbon trim and made a mental note to begin searching for new shades with more visual appeal. Perhaps her only hope was to find shades so attractive that guests would not notice the less than flawless finish.

So our cautionary tale ends. DIY'ers take heed, no project is too simple that errors are not possible.


I hope you enjoyed the story and learned something from my mistake. Please, if you have a similar story to tell, let me know. I could use some cheering up!